he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize