So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
