Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
