At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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