haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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