Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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