That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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