Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
