How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
