idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
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he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
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Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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