May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
