The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
