So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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