i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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