i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
