We're like a lot better than the average bears
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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