69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
