i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
