nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
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I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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