How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
