Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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