I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You did what with his pubic hair?
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