ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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