I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
