I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
