69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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