i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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