If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
