She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
