I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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