Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
