i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
