love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
