I heard we made out
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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