My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
