Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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