You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
