did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
