well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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