he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
