Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
