No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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