Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
