He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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