Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
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