is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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