I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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