Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
