You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
