yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The ass gains better be worth it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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