I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
