So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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