Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
