i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I need to sanitize my soul.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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