just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
