I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
