He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
