Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
