Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
