Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
