Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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