I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
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