The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
