literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
