Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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