there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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